It is five years ago today that my Mum passed away. She was 83. After Dad passed away in 2004, Mum didn’t have much desire to keep on living. She had dementia but still retained her wit and much of her lively personality.
It was a difficult time when they both became unwell and unable to live at home. I lived some distance from where they were, so most of my contact was by phone or mail (snail mail). My sister had the bulk of the responsibility in looking after them both. Mum was a trained nurse and had been Dad’s carer for several years before his death. It became obvious that she wasn’t coping when Dad was admitted to hospital.
When Dad was in hospital they discovered he had stomach cancer and there was nothing they could do. He lived for about 6-7 weeks after the diagnosis. I was fortunate to be able to spend a few days with him before he died. It was difficult to cope with their deteriorating physical and mental capacities. In part, it brought home the reality that we will all meet our end at some point. This can be very depressing or it can be a big reminder to enjoy the life we have today. I chose to see the positive side things and tried to learn what I could from the experience.
My Mum lived for fifteen months after Dad died. She really lost the will to keep going. She refused to eat and had no interest in life at all. She was getting thinner and thinner each day. I had a few visits to see her during this period. Each time I left I thought it would be the last time I saw her. And, of course, one time it was! She died on 25 April 2006 from a stroke.
Mum was very well-known in our small town as she had worked as a Nurse at the local hospital for nearly thirty years. She was very well liked and respected. She was present at the births of many local residents and then present at the births of their children!
Sometimes I feel her presence so close to me, especially these last few weeks. They are often times I think to call her and remember that I can’t. I would love her to meet MY grandchildren and for her to guide me how to be a good Grandma. As I get older I can see her more as a person and understand her better and appreciate more and more how kind and generous she was to me. Love you, Mum xxx
All for now