Boundaries – fixed or flexible?

“Boundaries” as a recent WordPress topic, has caught my attention as it coincides with my reflections on issues of credibility and acceptable social behaviour.

I grew up in a small country town where there are many unspoken rules on how life should be lived. Even as a child I found it very restricting and wanted to break away from the restraints I believed were on me. I did leave when I was seventeen  years old and haven’t lived there ever since.

I moved to Melbourne and loved the anonymity and freedom I found there. Several moves later I am still in a town where not many people know me. I really rebel against the idea having to conform, but I am not actively a rebel!

From another perspective, how accountable am I to the society I live in? Do I need to be accountable to the wider community at all? What happens if I am not – as long as I don’t break the law or hurt anyone in the process?

Now that I have more freedom in my life with less work and family responsibilities, I find the lack of boundaries a bit daunting. There are so many options open to me. Each day I have a new idea or plan that I am passionate about, for a day or two, and then I am off on another tangent.

It concerns me that I may seem “all over the place”. For example, my partner and I are contemplating holidays at the moment. We started the conversation talking about going to Chicago and then changed it to around Australia. That evolved into a week in Queensland until we saw a great TV program about Scotland. We may not go anywhere but it is fun having these virtual holidays.

Once at work I was offered another job and I said I wasn’t interested. After giving it some more thought, I revisited it with my boss. She was really put out and said I didn’t know what I want! I felt a bit silly over that episode  and realised I need to consider things carefully before responding in the future.

But hey, does it really matter?

Cheers for now

Lorraine

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One thought on “Boundaries – fixed or flexible?

  1. I love this. I think we set boundaries for others and ourselves. I also think that boundaries need to be firm. I am looking for work and might have a job cutting hair by the 29th. I say to myself “am I doing this b/c I have to or want to?” It tends to matter when the bills are due, that is for sure.

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