Disentangling the past

I am, who I am today, due to all my past experiences, my genetic makeup and how I choose to think today and act today. I try not to judge myself too harshly for the successes and failures along the way. The reality is that I did the best I could with what I knew then. That is all we can do.

Once I can accept that reality I am free from the past. The freedom can be fleeting though when I am confronted with the past. It is an ongoing process, this business of self acceptance.

I have just read “God’s Call Girl” by Carla Van Raay. You can see her website at http://carlavanraay.com/ . Carla was born in Holland into a large Catholic family. She felt called to be a Nun and followed that calling. It all came apart for her eventually and she left the convent and went back home to her family. She marries and has a child but is still a restless soul. She becomes a prostitute to support herself and her daughter.

Carla eventually leaves that profession and in her late fifties she learns about self acceptance – what she had looked for her whole life.

We can spend so much of our lives trying to please others – I know that I have done that. It is only recently  that I came to realise how important it is to own the responsibility of trusting myself to make the best decisions for me. I wrote about this in an earlier blog – Integrity.  This post can be read at https://allaboutwordswa.wordpress.com/2011/07/31/integrity/

Maybe self acceptance is something that we learn through life’s journey, and it is an ongoing process. Your thoughts?