I believe I have a reputation of being reliable. If I say I am going to do something, I WILL do it. Mmm…that is not always the case.
Being reliable and true to my word is very important to me. I get offended if people do not trust me – even when they have only just met me. That is a tall order, on my part.
What does it really mean to give someone your word? I want to instill trust and confidence in my ability to follow through on what I say I will do. I seriously consider all that is involved and make a commitment to carry it through. So, what happens if I let myself and others down? I feel quite upset with myself if this happens. I have been battling with this experience today and reflecting on why it seems such a BIG issue to me.
On reflection, I remembered a time in my early twenties. I was working at an hotel – cleaning and cooking. It was really hard work and there was so much work to do in a short time. I was exhausted. A long weekend was coming up and I just felt I couldn’t continue and I gave in my notice. The hotel owner was really upset with me, understandably, as I left her without the staff needed for the busy weekend. The Shamrock Hotel Echuca is where I was working.
I went home feeling really bad, guilty and ashamed. I thought about it and decided to go back and tell her that I would help her over the long weekend. She told me, in no uncertain terms, that I would not be welcome there again. Now I felt even worse. That feeling of being ashamed has stayed with me – I don’t really understand why.
Is it ok to disappoint people and put our own needs first? I confess to being a people pleaser for most of my life. Does this mean I can never change my mind about something and inconvenience someone else? In thinking about this topic today I concluded that I am not perfect. That is not news to me – however it is not a major crime! I have disappointed people in the past and probably will do so again, but I will do my utmost to keep my actions true to my word, most of the time at least!