I sometimes have an unhelpful pattern in the way I relate to others. Maybe it is something we all do at times.
I tend to judge myself on each interaction I have with other people. It is like I mentally tally up a score for myself out of 10. A positive interaction is remembered and I can expect future positive interactions.
If I have a negative interaction it can really impact on my happiness level and I then feel that my score is in deficit and that I have to make it up when I next engage with that person.
This is a very tiring way of functioning and it comes out of my wish to be on good terms with people in my life. It assumes that I have the capacity to do that – as if I can magically make sure that no one is grumpy with me or angry etc. This idea suggests that I can control other people’s reaction to me and logically I can see that is impossible most of the time.
I have heard it said that “what other people think of me is none of my business”! When I can accept that truth, I am a lot freer to be myself. It is hard to change old habits. I need to let go of this way of thinking.
Do you ever feel like that? Is is something we all do at times?