I once had a strong faith in a loving God and it was integral to my life. I attended a Catholic School for seven years and this provided a foundation of belief. I was President of the Young Christian Students for our region at one point. It wasn’t for very long though because I had a big “fall from grace” (another story sometime) experience where priest asked me and a small group of others to end our involvement in the church. It was never official – he just didn’t want to see us again 😦
All through the following years I still believed in God – I didn’t stop. I lost faith in the church though and didn’t resume my involvement until I was in my twenties. A potted history is:
- Catholic School and church till I was about 15
- Resumed involvement in Catholic church in my early 20’s
- Moved to the Anglican Church (the Church of England in Australia) mainly because there were more people in my age group with young children. It was a “charismatic” Anglican Church
- With great fervour we jumped into a “missionary like” situation and went to a remote Aboriginal Community for 12 months work. That was a big eye opener for me – seeing the disharmony and arguments among the Mission staff – a very different group who were quite “fundamental” in their interpretation of theology
- Next adventure was a similar trip to the Kimberley region working for a mission with very conservative views on religion.
I guess that last dot point is an important one, because my marriage broke up during our time there and the mission staff wiped their hands of us and were no support at all to our family at the time.
Since that time I still attended church, mostly in an Anglican Church. It was very accepting and not judgemental and didn’t tell me how to live out my faith. For about the next ten years I continued my involvement and took on various roles in the church.
So what happened? Where did it go wrong or where did I go wrong? Where did I lose my faith in God? I would really like to find my faith again. Does it just get harder to believe in God as we get older? Does cynicism set in?
I am not asking for answers – I am just sharing with you where I am at now. The topic arose because I was reading a book I picked up for 50 cents at a second-hand bookshop. It is called “Readings for Mental Health” and it is put out by the 12 step program of GROW. It is a brilliant book that helps me put my feet on the ground but it is also insists on a belief in God. How can I make use of the information provided if my faith is absent. It got me to thinking about “where has it gone?”
All for today. Thanks for reading this far!