Online vs real relationships?


I just read a blog written by a friend of mine,  discussing the benefits of having online relationships as compared to “real” relationships.

You can read the article If you click here.

I think Jacinta’s blog raises some excellent points and I hope you will have a quick look – it is easy and interesting reading and it will help Jacinta gain some leverage online!

There are as many types of online relationships to cater for different age groups and interests as with our “face to face ” relationships. I actually met my husband online nearly nine years ago. It moved from being an online friendship into a real relationship once we met face to face a few weeks later :-).

What I enjoy most about my online interactions is the meeting of minds. I don’t know what age you are or what nationality, religion or colour you are unless you say so. It doesn’t really matter. Sometimes the cultural difference can be a real point of interest as well. I love to hear about the lives of young mums and I also love to hear from older people and their perspectives and life experiences.

I also really enjoy connecting with people who think deeply and write about life issues/eternal questions. I love to read blogs that make me laugh. Photography bloggers are great too – they can say so much with a picture and just a few words :-).

I DO tend to think about some bloggers as my friends – I may only be one of hundreds (or thousands!) of their followers but I feel I have come to know a lot about them and their lives over time. Some people have disappeared and I wonder about them and hope they are ok – just having a blog free holiday – I hope so!

So what about you? What do you enjoy reading in the blogosphere? Do you think that we are MORE ourselves online or that we try to portray an image of who we want to be?  Anyone who has read my blog for a while will know that what you see is what you get! I like it that way.



8 thoughts on “Online vs real relationships?

  1. I haven’t read the article you linked to yet because my internet sucks and I can’t get the page to load all the way. Grr…

    But I will say that I think online relationships can be just as real as face-to-face ones. I’ve made some very dear friends online and I also met a long-term boyfriend and an ex-husband online. Of course, that was about 10-12 years ago when saying you had an internet romance was looked upon as being very weird. But you really can get to someone very well through text. I think people tend to be more open and honest when no one is staring them down, waiting to see what they’ll say next.

    When it comes to blogging and writing publicly for a large audience, that’s a bit different and I think there is a lot more pretentiousness that goes on there. Some people do try to cultivate a certain “image” with which to market themselves. I personally prefer blogs written by people who van just be themselves and write honestly about things that interest them, without worrying about whether or not it will appeal to the masses.

    • Thanks for your interesting response. I agree that online relationships give us space to think about what we are going to say next without being under pressure in a face to face situation. Thanks for visiting and commenting 🙂

  2. Great post Lorraine. I like what housewifedownunder wrote: “I think people tend to be more open and honest when no one is staring them down, waiting to see what they’ll say next.”

    In face-to-face group settings where I know my thoughts/opinions/ideas differ radically from the majority and those in authority, I tend (most of the time) to keep my trap shut – especially as I age. It’s not worth the tension to verbally disagree with a majority in close proximity – especially assertively. Online as BD00, I can let the big stinkers rip because I am the master of my domain and have total freedom of choice.

    However, as I find my readership rising, I’m starting to think more and more about “image” and self-censorship. It’s bumming me out cuz sometimes I feel like I’m morphing into a phony.

    • Thanks for your thoughtful comments. I really relate to it not being worth the drama to disagree with the majority unless of course it is something I feel really strongly about. Sometimes if I am in a group and the discussion goes off track and becomes racist or too political, I will just keep quiet or preferably move along to some more enlightening conversation with others 🙂 Thanks for visiting and commenting today!

    • I used to be opinionated and argumentative online and in real life, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned it’s just easier to keep my mouth shut. As you say, it’s not usually worth the hassle of openly disagreeing with the majority. Especially if the majority is willfully ignorant and close-minded. I hold some views that are shared by very, very few people and I’ve decided that 1) I’m never going to change anyone’s mind, 2) I don’t care if I change anyone’s mind, 3) most people aren’t interested in changing their minds or considering new pieces of information and 4) I don’t owe anyone an explanation or justification for what I believe. There are some topics I steer well clear of on my blog because I just don’t care for the kind of response those issues invite.

      But when talking with someone one-on-one over the internet, I will say what I think (though usually only if asked directly) and I’ll be more frank than I would be if the same person asked me face-to-face. I think for this reason I tend to prefer talking to people online because I don’t feel so much pressure to put up a front and be someone I’m not just because the other person might have a small comfort zone.

      • Yes, I know what you mean – nothing worse than walking on egg shells. Something I read recently said “I am responsible for what I say an not for what you understand” – I liked that 🙂

  3. I’ve written about our on-line connections in a number of posts. My reasons for reading specific blogs vary from blog to blog. On some, it’s the quality of the writing. On others, the subject matter aligns with my interests. On still others, it’s the personality of the blogger that keeps me coming back for more.

    My favorite blogs? A combination of the three ~ quality writing, varied and insight-filled posts, and more than a dash of personality and pizzazz!

    To read more:

  4. Over the past couple of years, I’ve met talented bloggers who became blogging buddies and cyber friends. I’ve discovered new faces in cyber spaces all around the world ~ Canada, South Africa, Ireland, England, Wales, Portugal, Scotland, Germany, India, and the United States.

    Over time, I’ve gotten to know many of the visitors to Spirit Lights The Way ~ either through comments posted here or by reading entries on their own blogs. We joke together. We laugh together. We learn each other’s likes and dislikes. We commiserate and celebrate. We toast each others successes and offer support and encouragement when warranted.

    And I’ve even had some blog meet-ups with Jeanne (from Wisconsin), Pixie (from Missouri), and this coming weekend, Robyn (from Australia!). It’s all good!

    To read more:

    Thanks for a thought-provoking post, Lorraine!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s