We get focused on the time we spend here on this Earth and don’t always see the bigger picture. I would like to share my thoughts on this with you…I had a very strange experience recently. It had been a lovely evening with friends staying overnight. I was tired when I went to bed but then I had one of those “Ah Ha!” moments. It wasn’t necessarily a good experience though.
I realised that no matter how I felt or acted there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop myself from eventually dying. I can’t really capture the moment in words but it was a very powerful experience. It brought with it a new perspective about my life. It was as though I have fought my inevitable end and I could now see how pointless that was.
I have an idea in my head of “about twenty more years if I am lucky”. It is a bit like being at 4.00pm and knowing that my day will end at 6:00pm. There is no time to sit around gazing at my navel.There is no time to worry about possessions and the like. I also can see that in no time my children will be going through this phase of their lives too. Their children will grow up, they will grow old, and I will be just a memory.
Coincidentally I went to see a movie this week called Song for Marion. It was a sad story about a woman with terminal cancer. She was a member of a local choir of mostly older people. The choirmaster was a young female music teacher. The story focuses on her relationship with her husband; his pain, which he stoically holds in, and their interactions with the choir and with their son and granddaughter. It is a movie marketed to the “GREY” moviegoers (according to a review I read).
I cried quite a bit during the movie. Adding to the atmosphere was the reactions within the audience, most of whom would have been much GREYER than I am. There were tears, sighs and sniffles among the thirty plus oldies present. I felt at one with that group as we shared this experience of life, death, grief, and family.Once again, I was aware that it is all part of the human condition. I saw these senior citizens as people of great courage and endurance. Many have already lost their partners and are still bravely facing life each day with a smile.
I wonder where to from here with this story and with my life? I hope it means I can put more energy into living my life and not analysing it. A sense of urgency has arisen – I do not know when my last day will be but I want to be PRESENT to experience it without distraction by things that do not matter.
“The first tune is the hymn Calon Lan (‘Pure Heart’). The written ‘a’ in ‘Lan’ has a little ‘roof’ over its head (‘^’) – it rhymes with ‘barn’ as opposed to ‘ban’.
The tune is by John Hughes (1872-1914). The words were first penned by his friend Daniel James (1848 -1920), a Welsh bard who worked at the old tinplate works at Landore just outside Swansea, the current site of Swansea City’s Liberty Stadium. Both men knew tragedy in their lives, 19th century living was very harsh in industrial South Wales.
The celebrated fusion of the words and music is guaranteed to warm the hearts of all Welshmen whenever and wherever they hear it sung. The translation into English definitely loses something, however the first verse roughly translated is something like :
I do not ask for a life of luxury, the world’s gold or its fine pearls.
I do ask for a happy heart, and honest heart, a pure heart.
And the chorus :
A pure heart, full of goodness, is more lovely than the fair lily.
Only a pure heart can sing, sing during the day and during the night.
The second tune is the Welsh national anthem Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau, needs no introduction, translated ‘Ancient Land of My Fathers’ but commonly called just ‘Land of My fathers’, words written by Evan James and the tune by his son James James of Pontypridd.”
Oops! I didn’t mean to include myself in the background when I took these two photos 🙂
In 2008 I went to Ireland in search of the land of my ancestors. I was looking into their BACKGROUND. The building behind me dates back to the 1100’s – WOW!
I don’t think it will be too difficult to guess what is in the background in this photo.
If you ever do a bus tour of the Tower of London, make sure you make a mental note of the background where the bus drops you off. I didn’t and then missed the return bus! Fortunately I found my way back to the hotel 😉
For an Aussie girl who enjoys writing I couldn’t resist taking this photo with No.1 Fleet Street in the background.
An aerial view of the Tower of London as seen from the SwissRe Tower. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Last Christmas my son and daughter-in-law gave us a generous voucher for a meal at their favourite restaurant, Mojo’s in Bunbury. Because we don’t often go to Bunbury we were at risk of the gift voucher expiring before the end of the financial year. We made a booking for lunch on Thursday (yesterday).
We were both looking forward to having a feast and a pleasant day out. On our drive to Bunbury (about 50 kms from home) we crossed a bridge into what appeared to be a very muddy stretch of road. Whatever it was, covered our windscreen and most of our car. We couldn’t see out of the window until the wipers kicked in. We soon realised it wasn’t mud as it had a distinct smell or a cow paddock! It is a mystery how it got there – I was hoping it rated a mention in today’s papers but more important things must have taken its place.
We drove on to Bunbury and I looked on my smart phone for a car wash. I found several on my phone but couldn’t locate them in the real world! We had planned to briefly catch up with my son at his work so we rocked up there with a really dirty and smelly car. Thanks Andrew for your great efforts in cleaning it for us.
We eventually got to Mojo’s and had a really lovely meal and relaxing time. It just goes to show that things don’t always work out as planned. We both had Donnybrook Marron Paella for our meal followed by profiteroles, ice-cream and coffee.
On the return journey there was a major clean up in progress near the bridge – several trucks, a road sweeper and a partly closed road! Our garage still smells a bit like a cow shed 🙂
I sometimes get angry with myself when I allow my inner wimp to have its way. I feel ashamed of myself when I take the easy way out and avoid a situation. I shared this with a friend and she suggested that we all experience this from time to time. I am reminded that when I try to resist something it only becomes a stronger force within me. I think it is time I had some compassion for that wimpy part of me. I can’t see it having any useful purpose but, who knows, it may well be doing some good.
If I was to give a new blogger some advice, I would say to write as often as you can and enjoy it. The more often you write, the easier it will get. Ideas for topics pop into your head. If you write regularly you will probably find and start to follow some interesting fellow bloggers with similar interests and this is an unexpected pleasure!
When I started my blog at the end of 2011 I had no idea I would be still having fun with it in May 2013. I tried to write every day in that first year but didn’t always succeed. Now I try to write two or three times a week. An interesting and enjoyable side benefit is taking part in the Weekly Photo Challenge. I get the opportunity to do a blog and to let the picture tell most of the story.
So what advice would you give to a new blogger? What has kept you going?